Just when I was about to get REALLY down about being broke and not being able to pay all my bills this month, I get a call from a family friend who told me that he needs his resume revised and that he's got co-workers who will also need their resumes edited that he will refer to me. All I can say is PRAISE THE LORD!
I've been keeping busy lately by writing proposals for contracting work with a colleague, and we actually just got a pro bono gig for a 10th anniversary 9/11 campaign, but there's nothing like having paid work to keep your spirits up.
So I think I'm going to celebrate tomorrow by going and getting some Häagen-Dazs Swiss Vanilla Almond ice cream. I don't eat it often because while it's pure heaven, it's also pure fat. And just so the pure heaven fat doesn't seep down into my thighs, I'm gonna take a nice long walk afterwards.
Normally I'd complain about having to take time to work off calories, but not so much now. It was only just a month and a half ago that I couldn't even walk 3 blocks without feeling pain. So, not only will I be thankful for my upcoming freelance work, and the yummy ice cream I'll eat to reward myself, I'm going to be pretty happy that I have the ability to walk a mile or more without enduring unending pain. Who would have thought ice cream could provide such clarity? Looks like Häagen-Dazs isn't so bad for me after all! Who would've known?
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Healing from Loss
When someone you love dies, the sadness consumes you. Nothing can prepare you for the pain and for a while, nothing can comfort you. Fortunately, the pain does eventually stop paralyzing you and life begins again. Monday marks a year since my father died, and I can honestly say that I'm doing much better than a year ago. However I woke up this morning at 6:33 am, about two hours earlier than I usually do on a Saturday, and all I could do is think about my father and how I miss him.
Losing my father, felt like I had just entered the Twilight Zone. Because someone I had loved for over 35 years, who took care of me and protected me my entire life, was gone, and wasn't coming back. I did a lot of sleeping after he passed, because when I slept, I didn't feel any pain. Sometimes I still feel like I'm living in an alternate reality. Like he's stuck somewhere between the planets and I'm stuck here, without him.
The first three months were the worst. I didn't want to talk to anyone, and I didn't want anyone to talk to me. I was consumed by pain, and then anger. I was angry that people expected me to go on with life as usual. And while I knew it was meant to comfort me, I would get more angry when people told me "it's okay, he's with God." While I believed that he was with God, things certainly were not okay. My father was gone, and I was in so much pain, sometimes I felt like I was dying. Eventually though, I realized that I did have to move on with my life. It’s easier said than done, but fortunately for me, God stepped in and pulled me out of my sadness.
After having a meltdown at work a month prior, I was riding the subway to work one day, reading the Sophie Kinsella book "Remember Me?" It had been my only escape from the pain but I had never really laughed while reading it until that day. I was on the part of the book where the main character is finally comfortable enough to have sex with the husband she doesn't remember. Until he asks her a very awkward, robotic question. The scene was so hysterical that I literally belted laughter out loud, and couldn't stop laughing. If I had been drinking something, I would have spit out the drink and possibly had some come through my nose. For the first time in months, I actually felt joy.
It was at that moment of joy that I heard God's voice. I heard him say "this is the April I know and love. Funny and full of life. This is the way you have to be again." I remember feeling emotional, but still happy, realizing that my father would speak the same words to me if he were here. It was then that I knew I had to let the pain go, stop mourning his life, and start living mine again.
Now when I feel like crying, sometimes I do, but sometimes instead, I reminisce about how fun he was to be around. He had a ton of crazy expressions that always made me laugh. For instance, he would refer to people as "jokers" and call money "duckets" instead of cash, like normal people. Or he would say that he'd "be back in a few shakes" when he would go out. I sometimes find myself using these same phrases and laugh out loud, and it turns my sadness to joy. Joy knowing that I was blessed to have a father with such an animated and entertaining spirit.
So while this upcoming Monday marks a year since he’s been gone, I choose to celebrate his life, rather than mourn it. I know my father would want for me to be happy and go on with my life. And while my life sometimes feels very empty without him, it’s the only life I have, and I’ve got to keep pushing on. As an adult, I’ve come to learn that those things in life that are the hardest for us to do, usually are the things we need to do most. They are painful, and sometimes take all the strength we have, but they are the decisions that make life easier in the long run. They help us to move on to live the life we are meant to live. It’s not easy, but God never said this life would be easy; he did however say that he would never leave us; and that’s something I can definitely live with.
Losing my father, felt like I had just entered the Twilight Zone. Because someone I had loved for over 35 years, who took care of me and protected me my entire life, was gone, and wasn't coming back. I did a lot of sleeping after he passed, because when I slept, I didn't feel any pain. Sometimes I still feel like I'm living in an alternate reality. Like he's stuck somewhere between the planets and I'm stuck here, without him.
The first three months were the worst. I didn't want to talk to anyone, and I didn't want anyone to talk to me. I was consumed by pain, and then anger. I was angry that people expected me to go on with life as usual. And while I knew it was meant to comfort me, I would get more angry when people told me "it's okay, he's with God." While I believed that he was with God, things certainly were not okay. My father was gone, and I was in so much pain, sometimes I felt like I was dying. Eventually though, I realized that I did have to move on with my life. It’s easier said than done, but fortunately for me, God stepped in and pulled me out of my sadness.
After having a meltdown at work a month prior, I was riding the subway to work one day, reading the Sophie Kinsella book "Remember Me?" It had been my only escape from the pain but I had never really laughed while reading it until that day. I was on the part of the book where the main character is finally comfortable enough to have sex with the husband she doesn't remember. Until he asks her a very awkward, robotic question. The scene was so hysterical that I literally belted laughter out loud, and couldn't stop laughing. If I had been drinking something, I would have spit out the drink and possibly had some come through my nose. For the first time in months, I actually felt joy.
It was at that moment of joy that I heard God's voice. I heard him say "this is the April I know and love. Funny and full of life. This is the way you have to be again." I remember feeling emotional, but still happy, realizing that my father would speak the same words to me if he were here. It was then that I knew I had to let the pain go, stop mourning his life, and start living mine again.
Now when I feel like crying, sometimes I do, but sometimes instead, I reminisce about how fun he was to be around. He had a ton of crazy expressions that always made me laugh. For instance, he would refer to people as "jokers" and call money "duckets" instead of cash, like normal people. Or he would say that he'd "be back in a few shakes" when he would go out. I sometimes find myself using these same phrases and laugh out loud, and it turns my sadness to joy. Joy knowing that I was blessed to have a father with such an animated and entertaining spirit.
So while this upcoming Monday marks a year since he’s been gone, I choose to celebrate his life, rather than mourn it. I know my father would want for me to be happy and go on with my life. And while my life sometimes feels very empty without him, it’s the only life I have, and I’ve got to keep pushing on. As an adult, I’ve come to learn that those things in life that are the hardest for us to do, usually are the things we need to do most. They are painful, and sometimes take all the strength we have, but they are the decisions that make life easier in the long run. They help us to move on to live the life we are meant to live. It’s not easy, but God never said this life would be easy; he did however say that he would never leave us; and that’s something I can definitely live with.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Alone or Single on Valentine’s Day? Pick Your Face off the Floor and Do Something About It!
Are you sweating being single on Valentine’s Day? If so, get over it and ponder this: do you have friends, family and/or church members who love you? All of us have someone who loves us and those people are who we should focus on. Or think of it this way: aren’t we just as worthy of love on February 15th as we are on February 14th? And what if you meet someone special a day or two, or even a week after February 14th? Wouldn't you then feel silly that you agonized about not having a date for Valentine’s Day? Nevertheless, I know some people are fanatics about being alone on this holiday, because I use to be. So for those folks, I say to you: don't sit around and mope, do something about it! Go out and find you some love! And I’m not talking about going to a bar and getting fresh with a drunken bar-goer, I’m talking about volunteering!
Yeah, I know it sounds corny and maybe even crazy to some, but you can find love through volunteering. I once found love at the news desk of a women’s conference where I was volunteering. But I'm not just talking about romantic love here. When you volunteer, you will feel love pour out not only from your own heart but from the hearts of those you help. Somewhere there is an individual or organization that can use your assistance. It could be a homeless shelter or church, like mine that has a food assistance program. Or it could be a youth literacy program, or a senior citizen who needs someone to fix them a meal. And who knows, you might find romantic love too! A woman’s conference was the last place I expected to meet a man, but it happened. That relationship eventually ended, but my point is that the possibilities are limitless when it comes to volunteering. There is even an organization called Single Volunteers who's members are all single. The link to that organization's website, and links to local places in the DC metropolitan area where you can volunteer are below.
All 50 States:
http://www.singlevolunteers.org/
http://www.voa.org/Get-Involved/Volunteer.aspx
http://www.idealist.org/ (click "Volunteer Opportunities" under the FIND section)
DC Metro Area:
http://www.arlingtonva.us/Departments/HumanServices/volunteer/HumanServicesVolunteerVolunteerOffice.aspx http://www.volunteeralexandria.org/
http://www.volunteerfairfax.org/
http://www.serve.dc.gov/
http://www.volunteermaryland.org/index.html
But here's what I really want you to take with you: Valentine's Day really means nothing if you don’t show love to the people in your life every day. The real lesson is not just to feel good about yourself on Valentine’s Day, but that you should feel good about yourself every day that you are alive, and make those you love feel great too. Tomorrow isn’t promised, so let the people you care about know you love them every day, not just on Valentine’s Day.
Yeah, I know it sounds corny and maybe even crazy to some, but you can find love through volunteering. I once found love at the news desk of a women’s conference where I was volunteering. But I'm not just talking about romantic love here. When you volunteer, you will feel love pour out not only from your own heart but from the hearts of those you help. Somewhere there is an individual or organization that can use your assistance. It could be a homeless shelter or church, like mine that has a food assistance program. Or it could be a youth literacy program, or a senior citizen who needs someone to fix them a meal. And who knows, you might find romantic love too! A woman’s conference was the last place I expected to meet a man, but it happened. That relationship eventually ended, but my point is that the possibilities are limitless when it comes to volunteering. There is even an organization called Single Volunteers who's members are all single. The link to that organization's website, and links to local places in the DC metropolitan area where you can volunteer are below.
All 50 States:
http://www.singlevolunteers.org/
http://www.voa.org/Get-Involved/Volunteer.aspx
http://www.idealist.org/ (click "Volunteer Opportunities" under the FIND section)
DC Metro Area:
http://www.arlingtonva.us/Departments/HumanServices/volunteer/HumanServicesVolunteerVolunteerOffice.aspx http://www.volunteeralexandria.org/
http://www.volunteerfairfax.org/
http://www.serve.dc.gov/
http://www.volunteermaryland.org/index.html
But here's what I really want you to take with you: Valentine's Day really means nothing if you don’t show love to the people in your life every day. The real lesson is not just to feel good about yourself on Valentine’s Day, but that you should feel good about yourself every day that you are alive, and make those you love feel great too. Tomorrow isn’t promised, so let the people you care about know you love them every day, not just on Valentine’s Day.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Don't Get Bent Out of Shape About Valentine's Day
As a single person, Valentine's Day can be an anxious time. Even in the last four years, when I was in a relationship, I never got anything - which is one reason I'm no longer in that relationship. This Valentine's Day, date or no date, gifts or no gifts, I've decided that I'm not sweating it. Because I realized that I’ve already got four men in my life that show me love each time I see them. Well, they are actually three boy-men and a baby, but the point is that I am greatly loved. And that's exactly what I’m going to celebrate.
What love am I speaking of? That would be the unconditional love of four of my nephews. From 17-year old Ray who takes care of me when I'm sick, to 15 year-old Devin who calls me "prettiful," to soon-to-be 13-year old Jordan, who always helps me with my bags and likes to take time to watch a movie or TV show with me when he visits. Then there's Brendon, my two year-old nephew, whose crazy antics of twirling around while blinking his eyes, and cuddling up with me so that he can take my socks off to bite my feet; all these sweet gestures and crazy antics from my nephews bring me a lot of joy, show me that I am greatly loved, and make me realize that I don’t need to measure the amount I’m loved on a Valentine’s Day scale. Because I am shown love each time I see the sweet faces of the loving boys that are soon-to-be men in my life.
So this doesn't mean that I wouldn't like a Valentine’s date. But it does mean that this year, instead of sitting around and yelling at God "WHY Lord, WHY? I'm such a GOOD person! Don't I deserve chocolates and flowers and dinner and some love - don't I?" While I may deserve these things, it doesn't mean I'll get them. That's just the hard facts of life. And really, what our lives become, truly are what we make them. If I hadn't taken so long to break up with my ex-boyfriend, I wouldn't have to do this insane thing I've been doing called dating. Instead it's very likely I would be in a loving relationship that would give me a guaranteed snuggle partner on Valentine's Day to celebrate the most important thing in the world.
So, this Valentine's Day, I've decided I’m going to give and not worry about getting. I plan to give chocolate to the doctor and nurses who performed my fibroid surgery and cared for me afterward. Because I'm almost fully recuperated and starting to feel like a new person, and I'm happy to give something to the people who helped to make that happen.
But here's the thing I'd really want you to take with you: Valentine's Day, or any holiday for that matter aren’t the only days you can set aside to celebrate love. You can celebrate love with your spouse, significant other, or even a sibling, friends or strangers (through volunteering), any day of the year that you choose. I believe that everyone, regardless of their relationship status need to take one day out of the year to show the special people in their lives that they are loved.
With our busy lives, sometimes we don’t make the effort to turn off the TV, computer or Wii, take the day off, or get a babysitter so that we can tell people we love them or do something special with them. And I do believe that we need to take one day out of the 365 we have each year and through any gesture, small or large, show the people we spend our lives with that we love them. And it has nothing to do with commercialism or being selfish. It has to do with wanting to be reminded that you’re loved. And there’s nothing commercial or selfish about that.
What love am I speaking of? That would be the unconditional love of four of my nephews. From 17-year old Ray who takes care of me when I'm sick, to 15 year-old Devin who calls me "prettiful," to soon-to-be 13-year old Jordan, who always helps me with my bags and likes to take time to watch a movie or TV show with me when he visits. Then there's Brendon, my two year-old nephew, whose crazy antics of twirling around while blinking his eyes, and cuddling up with me so that he can take my socks off to bite my feet; all these sweet gestures and crazy antics from my nephews bring me a lot of joy, show me that I am greatly loved, and make me realize that I don’t need to measure the amount I’m loved on a Valentine’s Day scale. Because I am shown love each time I see the sweet faces of the loving boys that are soon-to-be men in my life.
So this doesn't mean that I wouldn't like a Valentine’s date. But it does mean that this year, instead of sitting around and yelling at God "WHY Lord, WHY? I'm such a GOOD person! Don't I deserve chocolates and flowers and dinner and some love - don't I?" While I may deserve these things, it doesn't mean I'll get them. That's just the hard facts of life. And really, what our lives become, truly are what we make them. If I hadn't taken so long to break up with my ex-boyfriend, I wouldn't have to do this insane thing I've been doing called dating. Instead it's very likely I would be in a loving relationship that would give me a guaranteed snuggle partner on Valentine's Day to celebrate the most important thing in the world.
So, this Valentine's Day, I've decided I’m going to give and not worry about getting. I plan to give chocolate to the doctor and nurses who performed my fibroid surgery and cared for me afterward. Because I'm almost fully recuperated and starting to feel like a new person, and I'm happy to give something to the people who helped to make that happen.
But here's the thing I'd really want you to take with you: Valentine's Day, or any holiday for that matter aren’t the only days you can set aside to celebrate love. You can celebrate love with your spouse, significant other, or even a sibling, friends or strangers (through volunteering), any day of the year that you choose. I believe that everyone, regardless of their relationship status need to take one day out of the year to show the special people in their lives that they are loved.
With our busy lives, sometimes we don’t make the effort to turn off the TV, computer or Wii, take the day off, or get a babysitter so that we can tell people we love them or do something special with them. And I do believe that we need to take one day out of the 365 we have each year and through any gesture, small or large, show the people we spend our lives with that we love them. And it has nothing to do with commercialism or being selfish. It has to do with wanting to be reminded that you’re loved. And there’s nothing commercial or selfish about that.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
New Year, New Beginnings
Last Sunday after church I bought a spiral notebook that had on the cover a picture from one of my favorite Dr. Seuss books, Oh, the Places You'll Go! It shows a little boy in a hot air balloon following a bunch of other hot air balloons up in the sky. The message of the story is simply that life is full of infinite possibilities. I figured having a journal with this image where I write down my ideas, blog drafts, and other items related to achieving my dream of becoming a published children's author, would be a good way to remind me to keep working toward my dream, even when the madness of life hits like it is prone to do.
One of the first things I wrote in the notebook was my 2011 New Year resolutions. Like last year, I've created eight resolutions to focus on. It's a bit of an ambitious list, but with discipline I think I can do most of them. Here they are:
One of the first things I wrote in the notebook was my 2011 New Year resolutions. Like last year, I've created eight resolutions to focus on. It's a bit of an ambitious list, but with discipline I think I can do most of them. Here they are:
- Begin a blog to document the 100 children's books I will read this year. It will be research I conduct before submitting my children's stories to agents and publishers. I read an article in one of my writing magazines where an agent was quoted as saying that writers should read at least 100 children’s books before submitting their own to publishers in order to get a good idea of what kinds of children's books are popular.
- Create a professional blog to serve as a resource of information for my resume clients and potential clients. This will also help with goal # 3 which is to:
- Self-publish a resume writing handbook that also features chapters on networking and other career related tips.
- Complete my science-fiction novel.
- Complete my women's novel.
- Read at least one novel a month. Any writer can tell you that the more you read the better writer you become. And since I am working on finishing a women's novel and a science fiction novel, both I began writing over a year ago, I think reading other books will help me to finish the ones I want to get published the most.
- Save $500-1,000 to have an fantastic 40th birthday trip in November to Florida or Las Vegas. Because with the exception of my then-4 year old nephew giving me 30 kisses on my 30th birthday, that birthday sucked, and I am determined to make sure 40 doesn't.And last but not least...
- Go to God with every important decision that I need to make, especially those that really weigh on me.
As for the last resolution, you would think that I'm already good at going to God to ask for guidance in decisions, but the crazy thing is, I haven't always been. There have been many times in my life where I've struggled with a decision because I didn't go to God with it, and those times that I did go to God in prayer, I woke up the next day feeling at peace and knowing the right thing to do.
So this year will be different. I'm going to do what it says in Philippians 4:6 and ask God's input for those things that really weigh on me - then listen for his response. Because going through struggles without seeking God's help many times has ended in disaster for me. But those days are over now!
As I read over the list, I realize I might be biting off more than I can chew, but I believe in aiming high, and since 2010 was a really difficult year, I'm determined for 2011 to not just be good but great. I encourage you to do the same - create a happy New Year, don't just hope for it to happen.
So get working on those resolutions, and be blessed in 2011!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Ahhh...Christmas in the Snow
I'm so grateful not to be sick anymore that I'm going to be adventurous and head out and take a bus to do a little staple shopping and some Christmas shopping. It's a week before Christmas, and while it will be the first Christmas without my father, I'm really grateful that I have a close-knit family that has gotten one another through the sadness. And my dad was so full of life, he wouldn't want us to be anything but joyful. He was really wonderful, and he didn't even really care about receiving presents for himself. I can remember Christmases as a child where he got so much joy from seeing us all unwrap out presents, he would take so many photos that you would think he was a professional photographer. And he usually was the last to open his gifts. I really miss him, and I can't stress enough how one should cherish every moment they have with loved ones. Especially around this time of year.
So I want to wish everyone a very happy and safe holiday, and encourage everyone to think about starting a new tradition with your family this year. My mother is taking my niece to The Nutcracker because she is a budding dancer and singer, and I'm sure it will turn into an annual event. I myself am going to a Christmas Eve by candlelight service at the church I've been attending, Groveton Baptist on Rt. 1. I attended their Christmas Eve service about four years ago and it was the most beautiful service of any kind that I've ever been too.
Sometimes we get so caught up in all the shopping madness, we forget that this holiday is about celebrating Christ's birth, and giving HIM the glory. It's also about being with family. I myself plan to make Christmas Eve service a tradition for myself, and hopefully some of my family. I would love to see some of my friends there too.
Groveton Baptist is a very diverse church that welcomes all. Their mission is "to love people into the Kingdom of God" and that's exactly what they do. I hadn't planned to make this post an endorsement of the church, only an endorsement of celebrating Christmas for it's true origin, but this church truly celebrates Christmas the way it should be celebrated, that I believe it's worthy of the endorsement. If you want to really see what the true spirit of Christmas is, this service is not to be missed. It will be held at 7pm, on Christmas Eve, Dec. 24th at 6511 Richmond Hwy/Route 1. The church is on Facebook and its website is http://www.grovetonbaptistchurch.org/
So again, I wish everyone a safe and happy holiday and encourage everyone to focus on not what difficulties are going on in your life, but on the blessings. Because when I sit down and really think about all I have to be thankful for, I realize I'm truly blessed. Here of some of the things I can think of off the top of my head:
- A roof over my head and food to eat. Take a walk down to Foggy Bottom or Old Town even. You'll see plenty of homeless people that show you how blessed you are.
- With the exception of my father, all of my immediate family are living and breathing and healthy. That's 3 sisters, 1 brother, and more than 18 nieces and grand nieces and nephews who bring me tons of joy.
- I'm in great health (despite my uterine fibroid the size of a grapefruit).
- I have amazing friends who have helped me through death, breakups, unemployment and more. I'd be in the crazy house without them and my family.
- Freelance clients that pay my bills when I'm not working a professional contract. These have been like manna from Heaven on months when no temp work is available.
These are only a few things, but they are the things that get me up in the morning. Make your own list and tape it to your fridge. Then when you are having a crappy day, read it and remember things arn't so bad after all. And if it's an extra crappy day and the list doesn't help, meditate on Philippians 4:13 which says "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." It has always helped me get through the tough times.
Peace and Blessings,
April Crews
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Sick but Still Breathin'
After a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday last week, I woke up Monday morning with my throat feeling like it's on fire, a hellish sinus headache, and now I've lost my voice and sound like Kermit the Frog. So I thought, since I can't do anything else, I'll blog.
If you haven't been following my blog, it's been a tough year. My father passed in March, and in June, to pour salt in the wound I got let go of a very promising temp assignment that I thought would become a permanent. It wasn't until the end of August that I got another gig through my staffing agency, and that gig ends December 31st.
But here's the cherry on top people. A few weeks ago I discovered I have a uterine fibroid the size of a grapefruit which has brought serious discomfort and extreme tiredness, among other things. So, along with all this, I wake up from a great week to be sick as a dog. This would be ok if I had sick leave. But I don't, and so I will be losing a substantial amount of money this week from not working. But what can I do? Nothing short of lobbying to change the name of the "common cold" to "common hell." Because that's what I've been in for 4 days. Hell.
But I've decided this: Yeah, I may be unemployed soon, and I may feel (and look) like hell. But what can I do but wait it out? Wait it out and be glad it's not something worse - like strep throat which is what I originally thought I had. So I'm gonna take the advice I once gave to an ex-boyfriend who really had nothing to complain about. "'Be happy you're alive. Some people didn't wake up today."
Since my father's death I really understand the significance of that statement. So even though I'm feeling sick as a dog, can't leave the house, can't do nothing, and have watched too many cable Christmas movies - I'm gonna eat my chicken soup and deal with it. Cause at least I got up this morning. And even though he's not here with me, I know my father would want me to be thankful for that.
If you haven't been following my blog, it's been a tough year. My father passed in March, and in June, to pour salt in the wound I got let go of a very promising temp assignment that I thought would become a permanent. It wasn't until the end of August that I got another gig through my staffing agency, and that gig ends December 31st.
But here's the cherry on top people. A few weeks ago I discovered I have a uterine fibroid the size of a grapefruit which has brought serious discomfort and extreme tiredness, among other things. So, along with all this, I wake up from a great week to be sick as a dog. This would be ok if I had sick leave. But I don't, and so I will be losing a substantial amount of money this week from not working. But what can I do? Nothing short of lobbying to change the name of the "common cold" to "common hell." Because that's what I've been in for 4 days. Hell.
But I've decided this: Yeah, I may be unemployed soon, and I may feel (and look) like hell. But what can I do but wait it out? Wait it out and be glad it's not something worse - like strep throat which is what I originally thought I had. So I'm gonna take the advice I once gave to an ex-boyfriend who really had nothing to complain about. "'Be happy you're alive. Some people didn't wake up today."
Since my father's death I really understand the significance of that statement. So even though I'm feeling sick as a dog, can't leave the house, can't do nothing, and have watched too many cable Christmas movies - I'm gonna eat my chicken soup and deal with it. Cause at least I got up this morning. And even though he's not here with me, I know my father would want me to be thankful for that.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Independence Day Miracle
I just submitted the following story to A Cup of Comfort for Christian Women. It is much like the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series. I will be submitting it to other publications as well, so I would much appreciate any feedback. Thanks!
It was a typical July morning – sunny and hot with clear, blue skies. My sister Kelly and I, her two sons – Ray, 11, and Devin, 9, and her boyfriend Joe (now her husband) were on our way to Virginia Beach for the July 4th holiday. Kelly was a new driver and really shouldn’t have been driving on an interstate highway, but she was confident, and I trusted that she was up to the task having before seen her prevent accidents with her smart driving skills. We all were excited about going to the beach, because it had been a while for all of us, and Kelly and I especially, needed a mini vacation. I had just started a new job three weeks prior as an office manager for a Baptist church, and while I loved it, it had been a lot more work than I ever could have imagined, and I needed a breather. Kelly was working a demanding job she hated, and was determined to get away, even if just for two days.
We all got packed into Kelly’s small Honda and were ready to go. We stopped off at a McDonald’s to get some breakfast before getting on the highway. As we all shuffled back into the car, I got a very eerie feeling. It was one I’d never felt before, so I dismissed it as paranoia and I thought nothing more of it. I didn’t realize what it was at the time, but I now know that it was God warning me of what was to come. He was telling me that a storm was coming, but he wasn’t going to let me drown.
We had been on the road for about three hours, and Devin, Raymond, and I had just woke up from a nap. Kelly noticed that we were waking up, and looked back at us to tell us that we were had about one more hour to go before we would arrive at the beach. The boys and I got excited and began cheering “One more hour to go,” and that’s when everything happened. Almost immediately after we began cheering, I heard what sounded like Kelly driving over a piece of plastic, and then she started to swerve. It didn’t scare me at first because I’d seen her accidentally drive over curbs without losing control of her car, but this time she was going 70 miles per hour, trying to keep up with the other drivers on the road who were practically running over her. She wasn’t used to going that speed, and she lost control of the car, skidded, and hit four trees just off the shoulder of the road.
I don’t remember crashing, but I must have blacked out for two to three minutes, because the next thing I remember was looking up to a flood of people running to the car trying to help me out. I remember thinking “WHAT is going on, and WHO are these people?” It wasn’t until I saw a man trying to pull open Joe’s door on the passenger side of the car that I realized that we had crashed.
The scene was complete chaos, like something out of a movie. I had blood running all down my face, with sawdust and shards of glass all through my hair, in my blouse, and my skirt –and my nephew Raymond was screaming. His leg had been caught in the front passenger seat where Joe had been sitting. People were trying to get him out and I was trying to calm him down, but he kept screaming. Joe finally realized why Ray was screaming and lifted the seat up, and with the help of several good Samaritans who pried the door open, Joe and Raymond were able to get out. Kelly and Devin had crawled out of the driver’s side seat window, and I, with the help of a man who extended me his arm, got out of the car and was helped to a patch of grass on the side of the road. There was a woman sitting on the ground where I sat with a cooler, and she asked me if I wanted a bottle of water. I told her yes, and drank the water while, she lifted hair out of my eyes, complimenting me on my Shirley Temple curls. As she wiped blood off my face, I looked around and noticed people scrambling everywhere. It literally looked like a crash scene out of a movie, but I still hadn’t realized the gravity of the situation. I called Kelly over to where I was sitting and asked her if I should call someone to pick us up. She gave me a bewildered, confused look, then turned and walked away. The woman helping me turned and kindly said to me, “You’re not going anywhere. You’ve got to go to a hospital!” I realized what she was saying made sense, but I think that I must have been in shock, and just wanted to get off the side of the road. I asked the woman how I was going to get to the hospital and she said that someone had called 911, and that an ambulance was on its way.
At the hospital, it took some time to get all the tests completed, but after about two hours, I was told that I didn’t have a concussion, only bruising and inflammation on the right side of my head, and that would go away in time. As for my family, Kelly had a minor laceration below her chin, Raymond also had a large cut below his chin, as well as a black eye, but thankfully, there was no injury to his leg, which had been caught behind the passenger side seat. Devin was practically untouched with a cut behind his ear. Joe, the only one who sustained a serious injury, had to get glass lodged inside his arm removed and stitched up. Being the stocky bodybuilder that he was, however, he didn’t seem fazed by the procedure. Kelly’s car hit four trees, and except for Joe none of us sustained serious or life-altering injuries.
I thank God for getting us through what was a very traumatic ordeal. It was only through his favor that my family and I were saved that day. In addition to the minor cuts and scrapes on my face I got from the accident, I continue to have sensitivity on the side of my head that has been ruled as mild, non-threatening nerve damage. I also have a scar on my right wrist from a large cut that was not stitched up in the hospital.
After the accident, I was frustrated that the doctors couldn’t do more about my head injury and that they hadn’t bothered to stitch up my wrist. However I am now thankful for these minor nuisances because they remind me that I am child of the most-high God, who through the blood of Jesus Christ I am saved, blessed and highly favored, and meant for great things. Since the accident, I have experienced the death of a parent, unemployment, and broken relationships that have made me want to give up and give in. But because of my scar and the nerve damage that remains, I am reminded that God has brought me through the wreckage – literally, and that as it says in the Philippians 4:13, that I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. And as strange as it might sound, I am thankful to that accident, because it has shown me the true power of God, and strengthened my faith, my resolve and my life.
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