Nieces are a Joy

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately with my nine year-old niece Christen, who is a real joy. She has my father's confident, larger than life personality, with a whole lot of diva mixed in. She's like a mini Raven Symone, in that one minute she's primping her hair, and the next minute she’s saying things like her sugar meter is low and she needs some candy. The best part about her is that she is completely confident in who she is. She knows she's a little over the top, but she doesn't apologize for it. She is completely comfortable in her own skin. If only I had had her confidence at nine years old, who knows how different life could have been for me.

What I also love about Christen is her desire to learn. She actually looks forward to going to school each day and gets very excited when the National Geographic Kids magazine comes in the mail. One morning I woke up and went downstairs to get some breakfast, and she was sitting at the dining table across from my mother, reading the newspaper, just like my mother. Generally when my sister drops Christen off for my mother to walk her to school, Christen watches TV in the family room. On this particular day however, she was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper, like an adult. Who would have ever thought that that the silly little two-year old who bounced around wearing her cousin's football helmet would have grown up to be a an academic AND a little diva?

Another treasured Christen moment is when I took her to a local arts festival last Fall. She took part in every art activity that we passed including painting a pumpkin and helping to paint a mural outside an elementary school. After the festival, while waiting at the subway for her mother to pick us up, Christen asked me if she could use my mirror to see how her hair looked. I busted out in laughter and asked her why, because it was dark outside and there were no boys her age around. She simply replied that she wanted to make sure she looked okay. I realized that it had nothing to do with impressing anyone. She just wanted to make sure she looked good for herself. Go figure.

Like all my nieces and nephews (I have over 10), Christen’s humor, honesty and zest for life have been a blessing and I just look forward to even more days that I spend with her. Because in today’s society of deadly tsunamis and tornados, terrorists and nuclear spills, I need all the silly, quirky, fun moments I can get so that I don’t go coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs.

Don't Get Bent Out of Shape About Valentine's Day

As a single person, Valentine's Day can be an anxious time. Even in the last four years, when I was in a relationship, I never got anything - which is one reason I'm no longer in that relationship. This Valentine's Day, date or no date, gifts or no gifts, I've decided that I'm not sweating it. Because I realized that I’ve already got four men in my life that show me love each time I see them. Well, they are actually three boy-men and a baby, but the point is that I am greatly loved. And that's exactly what I’m going to celebrate.

What love am I speaking of? That would be the unconditional love of four of my nephews. From 17-year old Ray who takes care of me when I'm sick, to 15 year-old Devin who calls me "prettiful," to soon-to-be 13-year old Jordan, who always helps me with my bags and likes to take time to watch a movie or TV show with me when he visits. Then there's Brendon, my two year-old nephew, whose crazy antics of twirling around while blinking his eyes, and cuddling up with me so that he can take my socks off to bite my feet; all these sweet gestures and crazy antics from my nephews bring me a lot of joy, show me that I am greatly loved, and make me realize that I don’t need to measure the amount I’m loved on a Valentine’s Day scale. Because I am shown love each time I see the sweet faces of the loving boys that are soon-to-be men in my life.

So this doesn't mean that I wouldn't like a Valentine’s date. But it does mean that this year, instead of sitting around and yelling at God "WHY Lord, WHY? I'm such a GOOD person! Don't I deserve chocolates and flowers and dinner and some love - don't I?" While I may deserve these things, it doesn't mean I'll get them. That's just the hard facts of life. And really, what our lives become, truly are what we make them. If I hadn't taken so long to break up with my ex-boyfriend, I wouldn't have to do this insane thing I've been doing called dating. Instead it's very likely I would be in a loving relationship that would give me a guaranteed snuggle partner on Valentine's Day to celebrate the most important thing in the world.

So, this Valentine's Day, I've decided I’m going to give and not worry about getting. I plan to give chocolate to the doctor and nurses who performed my fibroid surgery and cared for me afterward. Because I'm almost fully recuperated and starting to feel like a new person, and I'm happy to give something to the people who helped to make that happen.

But here's the thing I'd really want you to take with you: Valentine's Day, or any holiday for that matter aren’t the only days you can set aside to celebrate love. You can celebrate love with your spouse, significant other, or even a sibling, friends or strangers (through volunteering), any day of the year that you choose. I believe that everyone, regardless of their relationship status need to take one day out of the year to show the special people in their lives that they are loved.

With our busy lives, sometimes we don’t make the effort to turn off the TV, computer or Wii, take the day off, or get a babysitter so that we can tell people we love them or do something special with them. And I do believe that we need to take one day out of the 365 we have each year and through any gesture, small or large, show the people we spend our lives with that we love them. And it has nothing to do with commercialism or being selfish. It has to do with wanting to be reminded that you’re loved. And there’s nothing commercial or selfish about that.