Thankful

In two days we will all celebrate Thanksgiving. I will also be celebrating my 40th birthday. On the outside, I'm cool and calm. I say things like I'm going to be forty and fabulous, and I will. However, on the inside, I'm beating myself up over the time I wasted in my 20's and some of my 30s doing nonproductive things like clubbing and dating knuckleheads who weren't worthy of me, my time, or my fabulous existence.

So, I'm freaking out a little, but deep inside, I am truly grateful for the blessings in my life. My father may no longer be with me and I lost the love of my life, but I am left with a wonderful mother, great siblings, awesome friends, and amazing nieces and nephews who help keep me sane. They all bring joy to my life, and have been there for me through thick and thin. They are a constant reminder of how blessed I am.

So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am sharing with you my gratitude list for 2011. Here are the things I am most thankful for:

1. Family


2. Friends


3. A stable job and freelance clients


4. Food to eat


5. Warm shelter


6. Cable television (without my favorite TV show Psych, life just wouldn’t be the same)


7. Sight, hearing and a sane mind (some days the sane mind is arguable)
   and last but never least,


8. a merciful God who continues to provide for me through the good, the bad and even the ugly (those non-angelic days I sometimes have.)

So on Thursday when you're enjoying your turkey and stuffing, and all the other stuff we stuff in our faces on Thanksgiving, don't just think about the one or two things you have to be thankful for, think of five or more things you’ve been blessed with, because there are others out there who would steal and sometimes kill (read the news) to have what we so often take for granted in this country.

And try to be thankful every day, not just on Thanksgiving. Because God brings blessings year round – not just during the holidays.

Peace and blessings and a very happy Thanksgiving holiday to you.

Chocolate, Dancing & Letting Your Light Shine

I love to dance. A lot. So much so that I get myself up in the morning dancing to Ricky Martin’s Cup of Life song – the Spanish version because it has more fire in it. Then I proceed to dance around like I’m a dancer on stage in a nightclub.

Is this normal for an almost 40 year old?

Do I really care? Not really.
Thing is, I don’t just dance in the morning. I dance all the time. Even at my computer when I’m writing.
I’m dancing now (really). It’s not really dancing. It’s more of a “wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care” kind of thing, but still, I think I may be a little hyper than most people who are my age.

Not that that is a bad thing. Or is it?

My energy today is unusual, and it probably is from the chocolate high I’ve developed from all the chocolate I’ve eaten today.

So far I’ve eaten 4 marshmallow cookies (they’re small, but 4 equals 300 calories), 4mini Twix bars and right now I’m scarfing down a 3.40 ounce box of M&M’s which I think is equivalent to two regular bags.

This is a situation.
I’m concerned because I used to get all high and mighty and say that people shouldn’t put those artists that wrote best sellers and historic critically acclaimed novels on a pedestal because if they couldn’t get creative sober, they really shouldn’t be well, critically acclaimed.

But here I am, drunk from chocolate, dancing as I write this blog and a new short story.

Is it because of the sugar that I’m so creative right now or because I’m seriously talented?

Maybe a little bit of both.

Whatever the reason, I'm going to keep getting drunk from chocolate, dancing around my room and in my chair, and being my animated self. After all, that's why people close to me love me.

The guy I've been dating loves it. He says I'm a bit of a drama queen, but he describes my silliness as "genuine and refreshing." In my younger sister's words, I'm just plain coo coo.

She keeps telling me don't let too much of the crazy out too early, since I just started seeing this guy. But after dating him for a month, I've realized he's a little crazy himself, which explains why he's probably okay with my silliness.

But hey, it's great because I dated a very serious lawyer for almost eight years. I loved him like crazy but it's nice to date someone that isn't so intense.

I've said it in my blog before, with all the madness in the world - child killings, terrorist attacks, and east coast earthquakes to name a few, we need to be able to let lose and let our inner child shine.

And I'm gonna shine all over the place.