Are you sweating being single on Valentine’s Day? If so, get over it and ponder this: do you have friends, family and/or church members who love you? All of us have someone who loves us and those people are who we should focus on. Or think of it this way: aren’t we just as worthy of love on February 15th as we are on February 14th? And what if you meet someone special a day or two, or even a week after February 14th? Wouldn't you then feel silly that you agonized about not having a date for Valentine’s Day? Nevertheless, I know some people are fanatics about being alone on this holiday, because I use to be. So for those folks, I say to you: don't sit around and mope, do something about it! Go out and find you some love! And I’m not talking about going to a bar and getting fresh with a drunken bar-goer, I’m talking about volunteering!
Yeah, I know it sounds corny and maybe even crazy to some, but you can find love through volunteering. I once found love at the news desk of a women’s conference where I was volunteering. But I'm not just talking about romantic love here. When you volunteer, you will feel love pour out not only from your own heart but from the hearts of those you help. Somewhere there is an individual or organization that can use your assistance. It could be a homeless shelter or church, like mine that has a food assistance program. Or it could be a youth literacy program, or a senior citizen who needs someone to fix them a meal. And who knows, you might find romantic love too! A woman’s conference was the last place I expected to meet a man, but it happened. That relationship eventually ended, but my point is that the possibilities are limitless when it comes to volunteering. There is even an organization called Single Volunteers who's members are all single. The link to that organization's website, and links to local places in the DC metropolitan area where you can volunteer are below.
All 50 States:
http://www.singlevolunteers.org/
http://www.voa.org/Get-Involved/Volunteer.aspx
http://www.idealist.org/ (click "Volunteer Opportunities" under the FIND section)
DC Metro Area:
http://www.arlingtonva.us/Departments/HumanServices/volunteer/HumanServicesVolunteerVolunteerOffice.aspx http://www.volunteeralexandria.org/
http://www.volunteerfairfax.org/
http://www.serve.dc.gov/
http://www.volunteermaryland.org/index.html
But here's what I really want you to take with you: Valentine's Day really means nothing if you don’t show love to the people in your life every day. The real lesson is not just to feel good about yourself on Valentine’s Day, but that you should feel good about yourself every day that you are alive, and make those you love feel great too. Tomorrow isn’t promised, so let the people you care about know you love them every day, not just on Valentine’s Day.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Don't Get Bent Out of Shape About Valentine's Day
As a single person, Valentine's Day can be an anxious time. Even in the last four years, when I was in a relationship, I never got anything - which is one reason I'm no longer in that relationship. This Valentine's Day, date or no date, gifts or no gifts, I've decided that I'm not sweating it. Because I realized that I’ve already got four men in my life that show me love each time I see them. Well, they are actually three boy-men and a baby, but the point is that I am greatly loved. And that's exactly what I’m going to celebrate.
What love am I speaking of? That would be the unconditional love of four of my nephews. From 17-year old Ray who takes care of me when I'm sick, to 15 year-old Devin who calls me "prettiful," to soon-to-be 13-year old Jordan, who always helps me with my bags and likes to take time to watch a movie or TV show with me when he visits. Then there's Brendon, my two year-old nephew, whose crazy antics of twirling around while blinking his eyes, and cuddling up with me so that he can take my socks off to bite my feet; all these sweet gestures and crazy antics from my nephews bring me a lot of joy, show me that I am greatly loved, and make me realize that I don’t need to measure the amount I’m loved on a Valentine’s Day scale. Because I am shown love each time I see the sweet faces of the loving boys that are soon-to-be men in my life.
So this doesn't mean that I wouldn't like a Valentine’s date. But it does mean that this year, instead of sitting around and yelling at God "WHY Lord, WHY? I'm such a GOOD person! Don't I deserve chocolates and flowers and dinner and some love - don't I?" While I may deserve these things, it doesn't mean I'll get them. That's just the hard facts of life. And really, what our lives become, truly are what we make them. If I hadn't taken so long to break up with my ex-boyfriend, I wouldn't have to do this insane thing I've been doing called dating. Instead it's very likely I would be in a loving relationship that would give me a guaranteed snuggle partner on Valentine's Day to celebrate the most important thing in the world.
So, this Valentine's Day, I've decided I’m going to give and not worry about getting. I plan to give chocolate to the doctor and nurses who performed my fibroid surgery and cared for me afterward. Because I'm almost fully recuperated and starting to feel like a new person, and I'm happy to give something to the people who helped to make that happen.
But here's the thing I'd really want you to take with you: Valentine's Day, or any holiday for that matter aren’t the only days you can set aside to celebrate love. You can celebrate love with your spouse, significant other, or even a sibling, friends or strangers (through volunteering), any day of the year that you choose. I believe that everyone, regardless of their relationship status need to take one day out of the year to show the special people in their lives that they are loved.
With our busy lives, sometimes we don’t make the effort to turn off the TV, computer or Wii, take the day off, or get a babysitter so that we can tell people we love them or do something special with them. And I do believe that we need to take one day out of the 365 we have each year and through any gesture, small or large, show the people we spend our lives with that we love them. And it has nothing to do with commercialism or being selfish. It has to do with wanting to be reminded that you’re loved. And there’s nothing commercial or selfish about that.
What love am I speaking of? That would be the unconditional love of four of my nephews. From 17-year old Ray who takes care of me when I'm sick, to 15 year-old Devin who calls me "prettiful," to soon-to-be 13-year old Jordan, who always helps me with my bags and likes to take time to watch a movie or TV show with me when he visits. Then there's Brendon, my two year-old nephew, whose crazy antics of twirling around while blinking his eyes, and cuddling up with me so that he can take my socks off to bite my feet; all these sweet gestures and crazy antics from my nephews bring me a lot of joy, show me that I am greatly loved, and make me realize that I don’t need to measure the amount I’m loved on a Valentine’s Day scale. Because I am shown love each time I see the sweet faces of the loving boys that are soon-to-be men in my life.
So this doesn't mean that I wouldn't like a Valentine’s date. But it does mean that this year, instead of sitting around and yelling at God "WHY Lord, WHY? I'm such a GOOD person! Don't I deserve chocolates and flowers and dinner and some love - don't I?" While I may deserve these things, it doesn't mean I'll get them. That's just the hard facts of life. And really, what our lives become, truly are what we make them. If I hadn't taken so long to break up with my ex-boyfriend, I wouldn't have to do this insane thing I've been doing called dating. Instead it's very likely I would be in a loving relationship that would give me a guaranteed snuggle partner on Valentine's Day to celebrate the most important thing in the world.
So, this Valentine's Day, I've decided I’m going to give and not worry about getting. I plan to give chocolate to the doctor and nurses who performed my fibroid surgery and cared for me afterward. Because I'm almost fully recuperated and starting to feel like a new person, and I'm happy to give something to the people who helped to make that happen.
But here's the thing I'd really want you to take with you: Valentine's Day, or any holiday for that matter aren’t the only days you can set aside to celebrate love. You can celebrate love with your spouse, significant other, or even a sibling, friends or strangers (through volunteering), any day of the year that you choose. I believe that everyone, regardless of their relationship status need to take one day out of the year to show the special people in their lives that they are loved.
With our busy lives, sometimes we don’t make the effort to turn off the TV, computer or Wii, take the day off, or get a babysitter so that we can tell people we love them or do something special with them. And I do believe that we need to take one day out of the 365 we have each year and through any gesture, small or large, show the people we spend our lives with that we love them. And it has nothing to do with commercialism or being selfish. It has to do with wanting to be reminded that you’re loved. And there’s nothing commercial or selfish about that.
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